Modern Internet is way more hostile to cognitive disabilities and OCD than I think it has ever been. It is just not usable for those with substantial disability, mental included. This seems clear to me now.

I don't see an answer to it. I used to take this kind of thing very personally because I saw the Internet as my home. At the moment I feel like my home has been razed to put a casino in its place. I don't think I can do my part to fix this.

I will continue running Eggware Social's services but I do not see the hope of a "better Internet". I might have to think about scaling down, which sucks because I thought this idea had legs. At the moment I just have to accept I'm here to host things, which is good enough, but I had hoped for real change. I was naive, or maybe genuinely didn't have the information to know things would get this bad. I don't remember.

I have lost the structural integrity of my support networks to collective malaise. I feel bad every single time I have to whine about it because my friends just genuinely cannot take it anymore and I don't blame them even a little bit. Most of the things I have to complain about are sensitive topics, and everyone I know has radically different opinions on everything right now. None of this is a Bad Thing, but I'm tired and so are they. We are all tired. We have seen suicides, this year.

I've done my part in the ways that I could, and most days I just get drowned in the message that I'm not doing enough. I don't think anyone can do enough except for the people who care the least.

I play a lot of video games recently. When I'm not playing video games, I try to exercise or do chores around the house. When I can't do any of those, I sleep. I'd like to pick up more variety in hobbies, but it's hard when I know I'm just distracting myself from the death of everything I held dear. The only real escape from my pain right now is delusion and I feel ashamed of that.